Life becomes like stagnant water in a pond sometimes, which never seems to move anywhere. I feel the same when I see my other friends and my boyfriend going to college happily, telling me they got admission here and are gonna join on this date and so on. I feel like I am never going to come out of these blues and my life will never move anywhere good.
I know this a temporary feeling, but it makes my days look like years and my heart just keeps sinking to the bottom of the cold and dark ocean. You get used to the gloominess and you start thinking that this is your fate and you were born to be like this forever.
My boyfriend is doing a lot to keep me happy and stress free, I keep talking to him and tell stupid things but suddenly now, I have nothing left to say. Whatever good is happening in my life, it is in his presence. When he is not there, nothing happens. So I am always quiet after half an hour of telling sweet things to him and then I find no words or no topic to talk on.
He says, ‘Babe, no matter what happens, always be prepared for the worst and you would feel less pain when things don’t turn out to be happy in the end. Expectations are like a cobweb in one’s life. The more you expect, the more you would be disappointed.’ He’s probably right; hence I have accepted this sadness as my life from this point. If things turn out to be happy, then I will be the happiest girl in the world. But if it doesn’t, then I will probably have no tears in my eyes. I know I sound crazy, but this is the only thing which is runing in my mind at present.