Odour-Captures of My History

"Are you mad, do you get high by its smell?", is the question that my mother asked me when she found me smelling my new textbooks. When I was a small girl, I used to open my new books, and take a deep breath, digging my nose deep in them, and feel relaxed. The smell of the books make me feel happy about a beginning: beginning of a new session of school, beginning of a new book, beginning of a new story, new characters, beginning of a new syllabus, everything. Today, when I smell my new books, it takes me back to those days, when I was a little girl, sitting on my bed, curiously going through the books, to see how different my new course is going to be, and how much I will have to study. With the new books, came a new responsibility, of studying harder, being grown by a year, and trying to behave accordingly.

Smell has been an enchanting sense for me, as I am blessed with the skill of recalling smell of different things, and get lost in the time that it belongs to. I miss the smell of the fresh cow dung, waiting to be picked by my Maami in my Granna's house in Assam, which brings the memory of the fresh and soothing mornings of my summer vacations in my childhood, I miss the odour of the wooden chulha, which reminds me of the delicious sweets that my Granna makes when I used to visit her. I miss the smell of moss, which brings the mud trails and my endless ventures in the farms with my cousins. I miss the smell of my Dad's fart, which of course was disgusting, but now its lack brings his absence around me, a void in my daily routine of him farting next to me, and laughing like a small kid, as if he had just accomplished the most naughtiest deed of his life once again. I  miss the smell of my Mom's skin, which reminds me how close she used to hug me, to rock me to sleep, how close I was to her for a moment, and how far I am from her today.

Odours and odours, they are like captures of memory in my head, which brings me to the joy of remembering the best things of my life, and reminds me how distant I am from them this moment. Life just goes by, and all it leaves behind is memories, sheer thoughts of absence of something in your life.

Love is a Test, a Life-Long Test

When you are in love, there are moments when your lover looks like the best thing that has ever happened to you in the world, and the best part of your life is happening now. But after some time of you being with your partner, something seems to be missing, something seems to be out of place. After few months of being together night and day, you seem to observe the beautiful show that your lover has been putting on so far, being so calm and patient, it seems to be fading away. It brings me to a question, is there a right time and age of falling in love?

When I saw Meera being happy with Sameer, and the endless list of gifts, surprises, dates, and romantic small nothings that they both shared, I envied them so much, I envied Meera so much. So young, and they look to be much better than us adults. But after few months of all these lovey-dovey days, Meera started to whine about her love life, that she hardly has time for herself, that Sameer had changed, and now is such a different person, and so on. I thought maybe she is too young to date and understand the complexities of a relationship, and hence I advised her to finish her high school and then date anyone, ever. But these days, I am facing the same problems with my long term boyfriend, who is pursuing a Masters degree with me. I wonder, am I too young too to understand a completely different person, or is it just not the right thing now to be with him?

With the time withering by, and the life changing our thoughts everyday, every moment we emerge as a new person, a new individual. And this is what we need to care about when we are in a relationship with a person, that we are changing as much as he/she has changed over time. This is the foundation of a relationship, understanding. When you go along with a person in a journey of love, care, marriage, and family, you need to know that this is what it takes to be happy with your partner, an understanding that the person living with you is loaded up with more qualities that makes your temper go high off the roof, than the ones which makes you melt down to the ground. A peace with this very phenomena is what would bring peace in your relationship.

Meera understood this fact in a bitter way, and since she loves Sameer a bit too much, she is working out on the compromises with Sameer. Sameer too is taking initiatives to understand what Meera hates about him, and is trying to control his habits to keep her happy. And do they live happily ever after, well, only time knows